got it from someone. true

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

NEXT

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

NEXT: getting to mushy. haha

You are the type to fall quickly and passionately in love, but will commit to a person forever when this happens. When you choose to love someone, it's going to be a strong relationship and nothing will come between you and your lover. But beware: love can turn you blind, and the rest of the world might cease to exist while you are in that honeymoon phase. When you come down from your high, you may find you have neglected other people and things that you love.

You value your friendships: 45%

You value your friendships quite a lot but you don't like to show your feelings to others. You would rather keep your feelings to yourself than share them with your friends. You might get a pleasant surprise if you are more open about caring for people - they will probably let you know that you're special to them, too

MORE!

What others see from your style

Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends, you actually wear carefully designed accessories and clothes that emphasize your uniqueness. You value your freedom and have an artistic mind. You are neither aggressive nor timid, but you believe in yourself.

What your nightclothes reveal

You are friendly and always in good mood. You are candid and helpful, and can be sexy at times too.

What others see from your ties

You are outgoing, energetic and trendy.

What others see from your belts

You are a lonely and demanding person. You are hardworking as well as intelligent, and can be passionate when in love.

What others see from your shoes

You are a person who loves simplicity and is sincere and open. You are pleasant to be with, easygoing and always in a good mood. You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control. You don't care much about how you look, and know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important.

What others see from your earrings

You are probably an independent and strong-willed person. Fairness is important to you, and you always stand up for what you believe in. You are friendly and get along well with people.

The last analysis

You are probably a romantic and passionate person. You are sensitive and lonely when you aren't in love. You can be somewhat self-centered, but you are honest and sincere to others. You like to make a good impression of yourself and worry about what others think of you.

Ring finger

You are sensitive, romantic, and hope fervently to find a love that's heartwarming and everlasting.

ok na to. haha dami

the story goes

and it ends. after the war. the contract got caught in fire. it burned. nahulog kc nung soldier eh. haha. clumsy ung soldier. aun. the war ended. the soldier packed his things and went to the mountains. he became a monk. :)

he passed away, nahulog siya sa isang bangin sa mountain. hehe :)

thank God!

i thank God that He gave me self-control

i thank God that He mends my soul

i thank God that He reminds me of His promises

i thank God that He lessens my pain

i thank God that He loves me so much

i thank God for giving me hope, that i can look forward to something better for me.

I love GOd

eto mas bago. haha

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/1659886"> src="http://www.truefriendtest.com/friend/1659886/1.gif" alt="Leaderboard" border="0">http://www.truefriendtest.com"> >Create your own Friend Test here

me?

Create your own Friend Test here

from stefen

Gayahin ko c stefen, ung nkaunderline ung totoo sa akin.

Welcome Ralph Geronimo, here is your handwriting analysis.

Ralph is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes.

Ralph will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Ralph an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other.

When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Ralph is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story.

Ralph is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Ralph doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

When Ralph expresses an opinion on a issue he will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change his mind. In other words... Ralph is stubborn. When he is wrong about something that he has decided upon, he will have trouble admitting he is wrong. Changing Ralph's mind can be very difficult. Once Ralph makes up his mind, he doesn't want to be confused with the facts!

Ralph will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Ralph has a desire for attention. People around Ralph will notice this need. He may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on his own character.

Ralph can be defiant. He sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way he is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which he thinks are infringing upon his freedom of action.

In reference to Ralph's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Ralph slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Ralph can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Ralph is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Ralph basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Ralph is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Ralph has a temper. He uses this as a defense mechanism when he doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around him.

Ralph is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. He works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps him from success. Often, Ralph changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes he changes because he feels he needs a different challenge. Ralph feels dejected. This feeling relates to his failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. He must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from him or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change his life.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Ralph has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Ralph fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Ralph has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Ralph seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Ralph seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin.

tag tag dw!

Here are the Rules:
1. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
2. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog, send them the link.

Ten Random Stuffs about Me

1. I subconsciously look at the mirror beside my pc and make faces. haha

2. I don't eat crustaceans. I'm allergic to it. haha

3. I am conscious of my surroundings when I am sleeping. I can't sleep with the lights turned on.

4. i NEED TEN HOURS OF SLEEP EVERYDAY.

5. I am a good painter, aand i rip other painting off. haha

6. I am addicted to choral singing.

7. The reason I go to events is because of the food.

8. I like telling others that i am already near but in fact, I am heaps of miles away. haha

9. I am a frustrated drumer.

10. I live for Him.- parang c camdae. hehe

I’M TAGGING:

1. Aia
2. arvi
3. celiz
4. elvin
5. donna
6. ej
7. karl
8. leslie
9. maki
10. matthew

waw

Dear Hazelle,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our romance is over. I think I realized it When I tripped on sesame seeds in your camping car and I saw you ignore my father.

I'm sure you're scared enough to understand that there is no solution to this.

I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your mother as a memory.
You should also know that I was interviewed by the Times about our friendship.

In pain,
Ralph

***

alang sense nman to

***

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat; With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

second best

dont even think that i am second best.. maybe third fourth or merely nothing to her.. well, a friend maybe.. i hoped for something.. i looked forward on seeing myself with her, walking, holding hand and just looking at each other, secured of each other. well.. la na un.. kala ko pa nman.. haaay.. buti nlng natigil to ng mas maaga.. ms cao.. hehe alexandra.. lex, salamat dhil pinatigil mo na to ng mas maaga.. mas ok na toh kesa hoping for something that is in reality is a fogment.. i almost got to the point that i went crazy for her.. but good thing that did not happen. all i know was that i was always looking forward to seeing her pretty face on tuesdays and fridays in our chem lec and lab. she was always beside me.. i liked it that way.. i felt secured.. my soul felt bliss.. i was like floating.. we would always walk together.. the simple times we had with each other, i considered them one of my best times in u.p. just seeing her pics in my fone.. in her friendster account, makes my day, makes me smile.. she is so simple..she is so sweet.. she is beyond beautiful.. i always want to see her.. i desire to be with her.. i want to know her more.. i want to be with her more often.. i want her.. i like her.. alexandra cao.. alex.. the man she is waiting for is so lucky.. i pray that her wishes will come true.. i hope she will be happy.. too early.. it was too early.. taht is a good thing for i dont have to indulge on my depression due to my deep "love" for her as time passes by. it is so good that it never got deeper.. it will make me crazy if that would have happened.. for if that time comes.. that i my love has grown deeper and she just dumps my permission.. that will make me a picture of my past.. a boy who gave it all.. but did not have anything left for himseld.. for he is just second best.. for he is not good enough.. unfair as it is.. it is better off this way.. il stop it as early as now..

weigh and balance

-justice-

Just a while ago.. I found myself, again, caught in a labyrinth, trying to escape the puzzle.. trying to find my way out..

I am not comfortable being with them, the both of them –faction-. I can feel the pressure. I desired for a clone, I desired for a chainsaw.. and cut myself into half. When they came to timezone.. I really did not know what to do.. I felt something that I never aspired to feel. I felt.. guilt. remorse. I was anxious. I was perplexed. Black out. It almost broke me.. into falling pearls. Moan for my confusion.


I really wanted to go home with them.. since it has become a habit.. and going home in solitude is a curse..

But I also want to go with them since it has been a while since I went out with them and I missed them too..


Balance..

So I chose to go with them. Relieved..

Still bothered of that feeling..

Why am I making this a big issue? I don’t know.. it is not that massive though.. gohd.. I just want to expunge what I felt..

So when I went home, this issue preoccupied me. I got irritated and confused.. instead of going to times, I decided to ride a jeep to zapote –knowing there’s a congestion- I got stucked. So, I walked myself all the way to zapote.. and rode a jip again heading sm Molino.. that took me about 30-40 minutes.. it blew my head off. I was so tired.. and irritated..

+positive+

Scoundrel –my mouth-

It has been a while since those words came out of my mouth. I haven’t used it for like ages.. hmm.. not really, for only about 3 months –I guess-.


“tangina”


That was the word. I went to masci today expecting a rehearsal to take place but unfortunately, we were just asked to sing in the meeting of the parents and students about the Brigada Eskwela. We also joined the dreadful parade. We circled the roads surrounding masci. It was so shameful.. we were at the front of the line since they said that we are graduates, and we need utmost exposure (??).


That was actually tiring. After singing, we decided (the choir) with maam carlos to go to MOA. Wow. This is the first time i am going to MOA with the choir. We ate at Pillo loco. The food was edible. That’s all I can say. Then after eating, we had some chit chats then decided to go skating. Sadly, mrs. Carlos can’t go with us since she is afraid that she might just injure herself. Hmm.. she sat at the benches and watched us glide on ice! She was actually with pau xu and iric ( I don’t know why they did i not go skating with us). I had fun on ice! –as what the coupon says- hehe.


I tumbled three times. It did not hurt that much since I tried to stand up immediately. i even toppled and scratched my elbow on the ice. Hmm, weird, it did not hurt that much too. So why did all of these misfortunes occurred? Well, it was because of ph, and 20% because of jay v and celiz. It was so abrupt. I just found myself playing tag with them. I was aiming for ph since I know that I can tag him easier than jay v. that was the time I said “tangina ka ph” haha *smiles*. I got that scratch while he was catching me as I was entering the rink.. I was running –hastily- and since it was only my 4th time to skate, having deficient skills on skating, I stumbled and got that scratch. There.. haha. And that was also the first time –for 3 months- I uttered that word.


After that we went to quatum. The usual leisure, maniax, karaoke and revo.. the suddenly.. danikko called. I told them to go to timezone. Hmm. So they went to timezone. I was a bit.. appalled… uhhmm.. Fussed? Worried? Agitated? i think... we also played maniax. Unfortunately, choir needs to leave. So I waved farewell to them, told celiz and ph that i can't go with them, and went with kamil and danikko. We just ate at jollibee. Haha. Laughed and laughed.


I had a blast today.. hmm.. upbeat. Downbeat. -_-‘ x_x

....x_x

hmm.. it is really odd. i am not expecting anything.. it is just odd. nkakalungkot. hmm.. waaa.. bkt b?? cguro kc, ndi ko maramdaman na ganun ako. though i have always been the type of friend i ought to be.

thought that he would tell me everything. i thought.. i just thought. hmm feeling tlga ako. haha. nevermind.

go upd!!!

upd!!

Cheer up!

1 week has transpired and I haven’t posted my orientation experience.

-Taglish mode-

Hmm.. I was a bit excited for that day. I have always been looking forward to our orientation. Sabi kasi ni ate jobel na masaya un kaya umattend kami. So there, I attended our orientation las may 11. that was a Friday. I thought I was late, actually, I was late. 15 minutes late, but no woorries, the show have not started yet. Michaelle texted me a day ago to meet her at the econ building so we can go to the orientation together. 11 am was the meeting time, and as usual, being the tardy Filipino that I am, I came around 12 pm. Pinoy nga dw talaga ako sabi ni mykel.. hehe

I was 30 meters away from the building when a girl suddenly called me, it was chloris. Haha. Kinuha nia ako tapos dinala nia ako sa i.e. club. Tpos pinakilala nia ako sa lahat. Haha. Un then she ushered me to my line. Hmm. I met 3 people, I cant remember their names. The i.e. club introduced me to them, they were also freshies under i.e. department. They were all from marikina science high school. Haha. Since I am not that assertive, I did not talk much.. haha.

There, I got my block, G-24. waw. Then I entered the auditorium. It was a bit cold. The show started. Hmm. The hosts were funny though I know all their jokes are rip offs from their last orientations. Haha. Pero mabenta pa rin. Panalo tlga ung rap nila na “kung ang ue ay warriors, an gust ay tigers, ang la sale ay archers… ngunit lahat sila, hindi upacat passers!!” haha. Galeng

So it started fine, I was seated at the right most wing of the auditorium and all mascians ere seated together at the left wing. That’s what I get from being late. Hmm. –taga pisci ung nsa likod ko.. hehe- they started with those boring discussions. Then jokes. Haha. Then the u.p. concert chorus sang. They were good but upsa is still better. Haha. But at least, they were able to entertain us. Then discussions again, then adio visual presentations. Then a dance number, they were not good.. seriously. Then came the up pep squad!! Woohoo. That was the best part of the orientation. Good thing that everybody was up on their seats and game for cheering!. We were shouting. Wooo!! They told us that we were the best audience they had. They taught us all the u.p yells. Haha. It was fun!

That was our orientation. after that orientation, i really felt that i am a certified up student. dun ko lng naramdaman na kolehiyo na ako. bigla kong nlimutan ang masci. haha! joke

Sorry kung hindi maxadong mganda ung pagkakakwento ko.. mejo minamadali ko nlng toh eh.. hehehe tinatamad n nman ako..

Un lng nman un. Tpos nun umuwi na ako. hehe

+recharge;refuel+

Grown weary

My phone again vibrated for the nth time. It was about 6 30 that opened my eyes and checked my phone for new messages. Then I read some and since my energy was yet to be fueled up completely, I went back to sleep. Again, my phone is ringing for new messages. I decided to wake up, it was 8 30, and read all of it. I don’t know, but I felt so tired after waking up. I don’t feel sleepy, but I really feel drained..

It is getting near.. the sympathy makes it more rapid. I can replenish all my energy anytime I want, I can replenish the gas of my tenacity anytime and anywhere.. but still, I am human.. I cant do everything, I cant live forever for everything. I cant absorb everything.

A sponge can absorb any amount of water it is capable to hold, but when a force acts on it and push it to its constraint, it will then exude everything and burst it all out, gush in insanity.

But not to worry.. I am just tired: Tired of convincing and arguing with other people. It is not easy to do what is right. It is not easy to attmpt to make everything perfect in its place. It is not easy to be me.. I have grown weary.. I need to breathe fresh air. I am throttled.. there is too much pressure, there is too much force..

My memory gap gets worse. It is my fault.. my brain is stuffed with so much misery and problems of other people. It consumes the space for memoirs of my past. Everything is sinking in, but paradoxically, it is not. I am pushing my self to engross it.

It is arduous to hope for the best when all you do is to put a handful of effort over a single problem and never gets better because of resentment. Why cant people think for the best. Why cant people accept realities of life. We converge to resolve things but deep inside, it is still not ok. We cannot sacrifice a little bit of ourselves for the better of somebody else. Everything will end up to one of the deadliest sins.. selfishness.

It is a fact. We cannot be GOD. But it is human nature (should be human nature) to try to be flawless and follow whatever path that should be followed. We have a choice, and it is in our choice that brings us our future. It is not the fault of other people if we regret the thing s from the past, because we have the CHOICE to do what we ought to do.

Problems.. they made me.. I am created with these adversities. They go through my blood. It makes me insane..

A sponge may exude the water, but after that, it will naturally, slowly

absorb

it again..

wahehe

Ralph saves the day!!

but cant save his day!!

Today is april hmmm… april 29.. yeah. Im watching pb ryt now.. they are currently resolving their differences, maricris and bea.. gawd.. it feels sooo awful.. is this the effect of too much attachment? Or carrying the burden, affliction misery of other people..?? maybe.. this has been me.. the great confidant. The great counselor. The great listener . at least I can call myself a real friend.. though their misery becomes my misery too, I wont leave them in hostility. I am ralph. That’s me. Im a friend.. whew.. so what happened to me these past few days??

April 16-17- burbank outing.. it was interesting.. it was not the best though but I had fun.. it was a different outing.. not the usual swimming

April 18, 2007- I and my friends went to manila memorial to visit the humble lair of my deceased classmate.. she was my first in everything.. hehe.. then we went somewhere else to settle some things....

April 19, 2007- I can remember nothing.. aww.. ph and leslie made me furious. I found myself caught in a deception game and gave me 2^nd thoughts on holding on to that pledge.. woo.. they really got me. And up to now, it still irritates and bothers me.. wahaha.. this was a Thursday and I was supposed to go to up with thea and neph. And waw.. there was ph.. I tried to be nice.. hehe.. after that, everything eventually got ok.

April 20, 2007- hmm.. Friday.. I think i attended the cotillion practice of thea

April 23, 2007- overnyt at thea's haws for her avp

April 24, 2007- nothing really special.. it was just freaky.. hope they will be ok.. sooner. padolina awting that turned into a moa malling

april 25, 2007- einstein outing. i had fun though i felt weird since i am not intimately close with all of the einstein people.

April 26, 2007- we had a practice again at thea’s haws gawd.. haha

Tinatamad nq.. nxt time nlng.

a really bad day..

exactly 7 am, i woke up, tnx to the alarm clock sponsored by cm. i got up to prepare myself. i dont want to be late for our choir practice. (i have never been on time on our practices.) so there, i took a bath for ten minutes. search for anything to wear, gaaahdd.. i dont have pants to wear anymore, i have used each one of them, then i saw this old rugged pants in my bros closet. i knida did not like it since it looks too old.. but who would mind anyway, so i took it. then, i realized that i have used all my shirts too!! good thing i found my brown shirt in my bros closet .. our clothes sometimes gets mixed up.. and that makes us panic whenever we need one. so there, i wore that plain brown shirt and went off. it was already 8 am.. i was expecting a heavy traffic since 8 am is a "rush hour". so there, yeah, got myself stucked in a traffic in zapote. then i rode a jeepney to alabang to get a las pinas bus ( i swore to god never to ride a cavite bus again ever since i arrived at skul around 10 am because of insufficient public transportation vehicles and heavy traffic) that happened during our graduation practices. so there, i tried to wait for a bus, but gaaaahd!! 20 mins have passed and all the buses were refusing to give me a ride since all of them are fully loaded, so i rode a jeepney going to baclaran. then got jammed again in a traffic at coastal road. gaaawd, it was so hot!! so i asked the driver to drop me at mia road, then i rode a tas trans bus. woo.. that was soo tiring. guess what, i arrived at scool around 9 30 pm. gaawd, all the hardships and effort to come to school on time got wasted. argghh.. so that started my day...

after it was even worse. the practice was kinda, hmmm, okay in the morning session, but after that, gaaahhd, i got irritated maybe it wsa because of the fan, or the fact that we were not doin anything, or because i was not able to internalize everything we ought to sing, or maybe i was expecting it to be done by 12. the fact that i brought so much things and prepared so much for our badminton session got me irritated. singit lang ( we ate at a carinderia near our skul, it was cheap and i got everybody game for it) so there, the choir practice finished. then i was expecting that leslie, ph, nino and i would still play badminton( i am getting better evry session!!) but then, it turned out that we would just sit still, wait for god to end this world and go home. so there, we went home, while waiting for a bus, i suddenly felt this scourging feeling inside my stomach. gaad, it really hurts, like ulcer or something.. so i asked them if we could eat at kfc. so there we ate... then everything got worse.. i drank too much rootbeer and made my condition worse.. i was not able to finish my food.. that costs 90 php.. gaaahhdd!! i need to save money... then after that.. wooo... the dramatic concerto started.. with ph then with leslie.. woo. i got irritated... my stomach was really killing me then they started to go mellowdramatic. i saw that last phrse.. i really got irritated.. ralph. feeling close nman ako. woo.. i really hate those dramatic phrases... just like dani.. who told guiwo that, feeling close nman ako kay ralph.. argghh..watafrend tlga.. when i thought that we really were friends, and we really were close enough to be called friends. that makes me feel that i am also a "feeling close" human being to them.. then leslie cried.. it was my fault.. woo.. i shoud not have said that.. i was too insensitive.. so.. i got really depressed.. then it rained.. we waited for it to stop.. i was not really attacehd with reality then.. i was not with myself.. so there, after that, we went home..

we first went to lrt to drop nino then we rode a bus then leslie left at buendia. then i slept, i was too tired.. and it was too cold in that freakn bus. i was dreaming of pokemon.. haha... i was traumatized by the pokemon epi i saw in gma that morning.. so there, everything ash and misty were saying was about balut.. kwek kwek.. haha.. ph woke me up from that nice dream, zapote na pla.. so i was not really that awke then.. i was half awake actually.. parang lasing lang tpos "huh, zapote na?? ahh..baba na ako, paalam" half awake, i crossed the road.. then i saw i light.. it was so bright.. beeeeeeep!! woah.. it almost hit me. gawd.. good thing it stopped "putang ina mo! magpapakamatay kb??" the driver told me.. i can still remember, a marron lancer.. i think.. woo.. i almost died.. gawd..

then i went home.. went ot the cr.. my eyes started to shake. then haha, slapped myself.. im still alive..

i was not really conscious today.. i was not with myself... too many problems.. too much frustrations.. confusion.. guen? gawd.. everything is not sinking in.. overload.... i need..... something..

friends. old and new.

i am happy with my friends. i am sad.. i got only a few. tnx to u.

royce, for supporting me when i thought everything will

Collapse. I really am thankful. For texting me though it was already 1 am in the morning. Tnx.. for the kiss.. haha.. I love kissing u.. haha

Leslie.. for always being there when I am down.. sori too for my dramatic texts,, haha.. but still, tnx for everything.. for trusting me with ur secrets.. thanks for tripping me, haha..

Guiwo.. for my bestfriend, who was there for four straight years.. thank u for all the moments we shared, for the simple tap.. for believing in what I can do. For always being there.. for understanding me.. for trying so hard to fulfill my desires.. for always siding me in every problem I had.. for being such a good friend.. for all the concern.. I am really thankful to have a loyal bestfriend like u.

ronel.. though, I only just knew u.. I am thankful because u are very honest and open. I thank u for trusting me. Thank u for the badminton plays. Tnx for the advices. U are such a good friend.. tnx

dani.. tnx for always treating me.. haha though I have money.. thank u for being guiwos friend.. thank u for supporting me in all the adversities I face.. thank u for being us when we wat to see a movie. Thank u for lending me ur ps2.. thank u..

these are the people I am thankful for now.. these people whom I put my confidence with assurance.. where are the others.. I don’t know.. gone with the wind.. happy? Maybe..

April 8 kahapon. Its easter Sunday, esther day, ruffy nd esther day.. hehe.. good for them, woo… ngtagal cla for that long.. congrats!! Hehe.. seriously.. im happy for them.. hehe.. yes.. im sad.. pero ok lang un.. hehe

Gaya nga ng sabi nila.. new life.. haha, kelangan pa plan g easter Sunday para mgbagong buhay. Un. Ok na ako.. so wats next for me?? I don’t know.. just hoping for the best for me. Ill just go with the flow.

Ok. Nu b gnawa ko ngaun. Haha.. badminton with ph, nino at cm.. kapagod. Sayang c leslie, di sumama pero ok nman. Ndi ako naop eh. Un.. laro laro. Naligo lang ako sa pawis. Laro.. then.. may naalala ako.. c nino kc.. naalala ko c gxxx.. gawd.. gawd tlga.. saying lahat… malapit na bday nia… magdedebut na sana xa next year.. –sigh- I miss her.. T.T

Mark the day, april 18..

birthday?

I just turned seventeen.. gawd… it is sooo different.. I don’t feel like 17, I feel like 15!! Though I look 18 in my most exhausted moment in my life.. that is great!! Maybe, I don’t feel like 17 because I hardly felt my birthday.. gawd.. this is the 2nd to the worst bday I have ever had.. well, the first one was last year…

Why didn’t I feel my birthday. I was not able to clench the essence of my birthday due to my “laspag” mode last grad ball, and the grad ball itself. I was assigned to make the avp, (which I happily accepted and in fact I volunteered to make it) 31 hours. It took me that long. Our computer is such a shit.. it is so sluggish and ready for breakdown. I hate that don’t send thing on my screen, telling me that the program should close. I experienced it for more that ten times, so I had to start allover again my avp. Good thing, it has a recover mode implanted in its program. Woohhh.. I used two computers, onepc and one laptop. The problem with that laptop is it has a 539 mb space for storage. Gawd!!!whats with this computer!! It does not even have anything in it but there is only 500++ memory. So I have to do everything almost manually. I can actually put it in automatic mode but it will take ages before it finishes. So there, around 4 pm, I finished the avp without checking it or even, having a glimpse of the finished product..

Ok. Continuation. There, I was able to finish the avp around 3 pm.. after that, I got flustered, went to Robinsons immediately to buy a tie, but I found my self, looking for longsleeves. So my parents left me there, they went to my brother’s apartment to get my coat. Everything seems so impromptu. Adrenaline rush, I went directly to the department store, nothing was there, I went to lacoste, onesimus, bench?! Penshoppe?! Then I saw g2000! It was on sale!! I saw a stunning polo. It was black and sold for only 700 pesos! That was 30 percent off, so I immediately purchased it. It took me one and a half hour to find that polo. I matched it with my gray tie. I arrived at the hotel, wearing nothing but sheer house attire.. haha. I felt so poor then.. haha then I immediately got the keys of my room from the freaky lady at the frontdesk and in a flash, went to my room, washed, and got dressed. I looked good!!

Then the gradbol started,, they showed the avp, it was good.. I think everybody liked it. Then we danced.. I danced with jansot.. 5 songs.. (tinatamad na ako mgtype) I danced with esther.. it was the worst ever.. I was about to cry then.. good thing I am equipped with tear controlling device. So I was able to impede it from flowing intensely. Woo… there.. my day came. Ding dong. 12 am na. some greetd me.. some did not.. it was fine. So we celebrated my birthday ( coper) in our room, ate mcdo and slept. That was it. And left my pocket totally wrecked. Goodd… but then, when everybody was out, and as I was cleaning up the room coper left me to clean up, a sound of the bell suddenly chimed. I opened the door.. T.T all of the Einstein people went in, carrying a cake with them, singin me a happy birthday.. I was really touched.. I was about to burst out in tears.. pero nakakahiya un. Haha so, I controlled it once again. So there.. I was not able to absorb it fully. Haggard.. so then, we went to school for practice, then ate with the choir people. Then dani and guiwo bought me a ring.. it was good.. I liked it.. then I went home.. lost.. drained.. and went to sleep.. it was not the best birthday. Gloomy.. sad.. morbid!!! I hate u.. u ruined it.. ex.

redo and undo

haha. tagal ko ring ndi nagpost. pero filing ko parang last wik lng un.. haha... nu na nb nangyari nagun?? la namna, kaya lng ako di ngpopost kc tinatamad ako o maraming ginawa... dumaan na ang pasko at bagiong taon.. haha

onga pla, namatay ang lola ko nung fri at nilibing na xa kahapon.. nkakalungkot tlga... pero ang nkakatuwa dun, kc nareunite ulit ang aming untalan family, lahat cla nandito ngaun.. ang lungkot tlga.. haaaay.. thats life.. weird. why live life to the fullest if it will reach an end.. ?? haha.. ang wierdo ko tlga...

un.. marami namna ang nangyari.. ito ung pinakamalaki.. (bahala na kung cno man magbasa nito.. blog ko to.. haha) nagalit sa akin c dahil binigyan ko ang EX ko na gf nia ngaun ng regalo.. haha. aminado ako na masama un.. haha... maxadong mganda ung regalo eh.. mahal nga eh... ang di ko maintindihan ay kung bkt binigay ko pa.. haha... magsosorry b aku?? ewan.. baka hindi.. haha... sama ko noh?? ok lng... sbi nila na masama ung ginawa ko eh.. edi masama.. dala lng nman ito ng kagustuhan kong mapasaya ung EX ko. pero weird. dapat nga naman na hindi ako ganun kc cla na. eh anu ngaun?? un b ang magiging dahilan ng pagtigil ko ng pagpapsaya ng tao?? parang pareho lng kc un ng pagbigay ko ng regalo sa mga 30 na tao.. ngaun lng nmana ko ngbigay eh.... last yr nga hnde eh.. nagkataon lng na binili ko ung gusto nia.. cge. aminado na spesyal nga ung regalo.. haayyy.. eh anu ngaun.. magbigay nlng dn xa ng regalo na espesyal.. masaya na namna ako na natuwa xa sa regalo ko.. at least, naglaan ako ng effort na magbigay sa pasko.. galit b ako?? haha.. hnde ah.. ewan, nahihiya ba ako?? hindi rn ata? bkt nman walang dahilan. (pero baka nga.. haha) masaya lng tlga kc ako... nu b ang pnt ko.. di ko rn alam eh... bawal kmi mgcommunicate? oo.. sbi nila para walang gulo dahil habang nandito ako, hndi mtatahimik c miguel.. haha.. ganun na pla akong kalala.

friends kme? oo, cge.. ok lng. xa galit sken.. ako.. ewan. undefined(baka) nkakainis na kc eh. nasakanya na nga ung EX ko eh... kulang nlng tanggapin ko un. haha. haha.. nkakainis nga e. ako ang masama sa tingin ng mga tao.. ok.. cge.. filing ko rn..

pero. masakit dn nman eh.... oo tama. kc, cla. kc xa ung mahal.. ako.. la na. panggulo lng ako sa buhay nila.. ndi nman ako ung bida eh,.. clang dalawa.. haaay....

msaya ako.. kpag magkatxt kame.. la lng.. nkakatuwa lng.. pero cguro ngaun.. di na muna, kc iisipin ng iba na may something na.. ganun nman plagi eh. meron ngang something pero ako lng un.. ung txt ko lng nman ay walang bahid ng malisya,, kung anu ang tinetxt ko sa iba, un dn ang tinetxt ko sa iba.. ang nkakainis lng dun.. haha... bwal na kc. ndi na kme pedng mgcommunicate.. haha. la ba akong karapatan?? khit EX ako?? haha. baliw ka tlga. we started with texting, got to know each other with texting and end up with texting. un. dun na ang paalam nun.. sasabihin na sa susnod nlng kpag nkabangga kta 20 yrs from now...

so ano na ngaun?? haha.. im desperate.. haha.. hindi ko ito gusto. nkakabwisit.. ayoko na.. gusto kong sumuko.. oo.. para wala ng gulo.. pero sadyang SELFISH ako. masama nga ako.. oo masama nga ako..( sasabihin na nila na hindi ito pagmamahal.. dhil masama na ito..) oo msama na ako.. sobra.. sobra kong ramdam.... sa kahit anung anggulo nman eh.. ako ang amsama.. taggap ko un.. oo masama ako. khit ikwento nila sa teacher, sa kpawa estudyante.. ako ang masama.......... khit kei maam D pa.. haha.. ang sakit kaya nun.. cguro, sa tingin nia na ang selfish ko.. hhaaahaha.. onga pla selfish ako.. damn. the hell.

kelan kaya ung saya?
iwan na nila ako.
im a freak
the hell..
i really need to forget everything..
pls help me..
how?



onga pla.. i celebrated again our anniv last wed. wooo.. it was damned fun! ___ fuck, don't listen to this man. he is insane!