NUMB

Right now, I don’t know what I am feeling. I know in my heart that I love what I am doing in my council. I can’t explain it. Can someone explain it to me? It’s as if I am doing things just because I need to do it. Is it because my parents are against it? Is it because I am scared of so many things for my council? I know I am having fun and I love it. But I have this numb feeling. I am feeling numb. Is it because I have sacrificed much for this council? My family, my friends, my academics. Is it worth it?

Reviving my BLOG!! "Memos"

my last post was like ages ago. and here i am typing out of boredom. now i realize that blogging is healthy. just letting it out make me feel better. as i browsed my blog, i remember the days when i used to burst out of frustrations due to dilemmas and this blog was my outlet.

Difficult. I will now love my blog and update it all the time. it is quite difficult to show weakness, to show disappointments, to show negative happiness. I am the chairperson now and i should always be strong. never should my council see me in pain, see me in despair. that's why it is difficult. i have no one to consult.. but then i have my blog just to write things out. but ill make sure at the end of my every entry, i encourage myself. just like in HIMYM, i;ll write to future ralph

Avert. i should do away with it. it is not healthy. past should never be a future. we should just all learn from it. dont give chances. never indulge in charms. oh so cute. never. as i browsed my friendster, it stroke. and i browsed the pictures of that stroke. and all the memories are coming back. and i hate it. i hate it...

To future Ralph. Never repeat your mistakes. remember why you stopped. your present now is worth while. do away with it. you can never be as disappointed. too much disappointments make you strong. and that i need to be, as for the chairperson of the council, keep your passion burning above all!