october fever

waaaaaaaaaaa.. bkt kelangan kong dalhin ang mga pasakit ng ibang tao.. ahaha.. panget.. ayn. tagalog ngaun.

ngayong oktubre, ang daming nangyari. nkakainis.. ang dami kong nalaman.. na dapat ay hindi ko malaman.

raaaaaaarrrrrr..

bwisit.

onga pla, bago muna lahat, magdidiwang ako ngaun MAGISA! ahaha, 33rd na. oct 24!!

sakto nman ngaun. ahaha, kc kahapon na ang huling araw ng aming paguusap. kc balik na ulet ngaun.. weee.. masaya na ako ng ganun. at least masaya kahapon.

kwento muna ako. un. moa kmi kahapon ni esther at guiwo. un, sinundo ko xa sa mrt, ang tagal, parang timang, nkalunch na aku, la prn. ok lng,, 11 nman kc usapan, excited ata ako maxado at 10 15 ako dumating. un, dumating na xa. edi punta kmi ng moa. silence lng.. ahaha. pagdating dun, punta kmi national tpos dumaan sa likod entrance nito at taran, surprise. nandun c kamil.

un una naming ginawa ay, ahah, ay, nagpapicture, panget ung pic e, tpos ice cream, tpos ice skating, un nga lng, ngalit c esther, tinwanan kc nmen,, eh. la lng.. kaya nagalit dn ako, kainis kc eh. ngiging mabait na nga ako e, tpos cnigawan pa ako, cnbi pa" wag ka nga!" wala akong pake"" wush, un, ngulat nman ako kc dahil dun, prang ok ung skating ko, 1st tym pero di ako nadapa, ahaha. tpos nun kain ng luch, mga 3 na un, tpos dancd maniax tpos dun sa dagat na marumi at uwi. tpos wala na. tpos na ulit ang lahat,ganun lng un.. ang saya, nagaway kme... 1st tym ba??

o nga pla, knina, ngmidyear kme, mejo nahaggarg ako, tpos may burbank pa.. huhu, la na kc akong energy kaya di na ako nkapunta.

un.,..

nu b problema???

marami.

nalulungkot ako s amga nangyayari.. tsktsk...

yoko na iexplain. nkakalungkot lng tlga, still, consider them friends, though not close.

human beings prn nman lahat eh.. hmm.. clue.. double mint chewing gum??

hehe..

onga pla.. in demand ako ngaun.. di rn masaya, kc, minsan ikaw ung masama.. nguguluhan na nga ako ehh.. pano na kaya ung sa coper. haaay.. kaya dati, sbi ko na wag ikalat sa buong mundo e kc ndi nman certain un.. kaya ngaun.. ewan.. masam n nman ako kpag cnbi ko na crush lng.. haaay....... parusa cguro toh, di kc ako ngccmba e..

24 ngaun!!!! kelan ko b yan mkakalimutan.. click!

fave

waaa, di ko na alam.

for the last time. i love you, i love everything in you, especially YOU..

-sigh-

masaya na ako ngaun. new life!

the title is september 26 2007


You dont seem to understand why.. why I dont want it to be this way.

Its not that I dont want it to be that way, it is just that there are some things that I cannot bear to come into contact with. I know the intentions are decent. I know.. but please, dont be egocentric..

Its only now that I have grasped the real reason why I feel odd whenever these intentions come into place. Let me elucidate further. Yes I want to be THE friend that I feel u want me to be. What I dont want is the sentiment I undergo in this time of intention inducing situations.

.. resentment. A feeling a friend does not desire to feel. Comment – if there is animosity, then tell it, rather that being a die hard synthetic manufacturer. The hell.. I feel that u release the fury on that intention preoccupied lady. why not tell it to me and let me justify everything. But I guess, thatll be hard for someone who can hardly accept criticisms. But I really do hope that sympathy is still a preference.

.. truth is, I am a feeler. I dont crave for a treatment that is as if it is the same treatment that was before felt. The same treatment that u used to give me when we were still THE WE I long before desired -even though I didnt know it..- or am i just not used to you being that way to rag. im puzzled. I dont want to expect something that seems to be unattainable. I am a feeler. Thats why it hurts a lot.

.. agony. Be at least considerate. Whenever I experience being with the binary you, I feel devastated. Through my smile, I expose my pain. Through my radiant eyes I show my rage, through my word I show my rigidity. I am a phony. I hide the pain behind happiness. The hell.

Well, formally, I ended that past, and that past should be erased in eternity. For the sake of my best friend, I sacrificed my dignity. Be not my friend, because it is not supposed to be that way. After this, go back to reality. Go back to the usual and never see beyond that. Ahhhhhhh!!! I hate my stupidity!!! I have moved on!

But why are these tears running down on my damned, cursed face.