wahehe

Ralph saves the day!!

but cant save his day!!

Today is april hmmm… april 29.. yeah. Im watching pb ryt now.. they are currently resolving their differences, maricris and bea.. gawd.. it feels sooo awful.. is this the effect of too much attachment? Or carrying the burden, affliction misery of other people..?? maybe.. this has been me.. the great confidant. The great counselor. The great listener . at least I can call myself a real friend.. though their misery becomes my misery too, I wont leave them in hostility. I am ralph. That’s me. Im a friend.. whew.. so what happened to me these past few days??

April 16-17- burbank outing.. it was interesting.. it was not the best though but I had fun.. it was a different outing.. not the usual swimming

April 18, 2007- I and my friends went to manila memorial to visit the humble lair of my deceased classmate.. she was my first in everything.. hehe.. then we went somewhere else to settle some things....

April 19, 2007- I can remember nothing.. aww.. ph and leslie made me furious. I found myself caught in a deception game and gave me 2^nd thoughts on holding on to that pledge.. woo.. they really got me. And up to now, it still irritates and bothers me.. wahaha.. this was a Thursday and I was supposed to go to up with thea and neph. And waw.. there was ph.. I tried to be nice.. hehe.. after that, everything eventually got ok.

April 20, 2007- hmm.. Friday.. I think i attended the cotillion practice of thea

April 23, 2007- overnyt at thea's haws for her avp

April 24, 2007- nothing really special.. it was just freaky.. hope they will be ok.. sooner. padolina awting that turned into a moa malling

april 25, 2007- einstein outing. i had fun though i felt weird since i am not intimately close with all of the einstein people.

April 26, 2007- we had a practice again at thea’s haws gawd.. haha

Tinatamad nq.. nxt time nlng.

a really bad day..

exactly 7 am, i woke up, tnx to the alarm clock sponsored by cm. i got up to prepare myself. i dont want to be late for our choir practice. (i have never been on time on our practices.) so there, i took a bath for ten minutes. search for anything to wear, gaaahdd.. i dont have pants to wear anymore, i have used each one of them, then i saw this old rugged pants in my bros closet. i knida did not like it since it looks too old.. but who would mind anyway, so i took it. then, i realized that i have used all my shirts too!! good thing i found my brown shirt in my bros closet .. our clothes sometimes gets mixed up.. and that makes us panic whenever we need one. so there, i wore that plain brown shirt and went off. it was already 8 am.. i was expecting a heavy traffic since 8 am is a "rush hour". so there, yeah, got myself stucked in a traffic in zapote. then i rode a jeepney to alabang to get a las pinas bus ( i swore to god never to ride a cavite bus again ever since i arrived at skul around 10 am because of insufficient public transportation vehicles and heavy traffic) that happened during our graduation practices. so there, i tried to wait for a bus, but gaaaahd!! 20 mins have passed and all the buses were refusing to give me a ride since all of them are fully loaded, so i rode a jeepney going to baclaran. then got jammed again in a traffic at coastal road. gaaawd, it was so hot!! so i asked the driver to drop me at mia road, then i rode a tas trans bus. woo.. that was soo tiring. guess what, i arrived at scool around 9 30 pm. gaawd, all the hardships and effort to come to school on time got wasted. argghh.. so that started my day...

after it was even worse. the practice was kinda, hmmm, okay in the morning session, but after that, gaaahhd, i got irritated maybe it wsa because of the fan, or the fact that we were not doin anything, or because i was not able to internalize everything we ought to sing, or maybe i was expecting it to be done by 12. the fact that i brought so much things and prepared so much for our badminton session got me irritated. singit lang ( we ate at a carinderia near our skul, it was cheap and i got everybody game for it) so there, the choir practice finished. then i was expecting that leslie, ph, nino and i would still play badminton( i am getting better evry session!!) but then, it turned out that we would just sit still, wait for god to end this world and go home. so there, we went home, while waiting for a bus, i suddenly felt this scourging feeling inside my stomach. gaad, it really hurts, like ulcer or something.. so i asked them if we could eat at kfc. so there we ate... then everything got worse.. i drank too much rootbeer and made my condition worse.. i was not able to finish my food.. that costs 90 php.. gaaahhdd!! i need to save money... then after that.. wooo... the dramatic concerto started.. with ph then with leslie.. woo. i got irritated... my stomach was really killing me then they started to go mellowdramatic. i saw that last phrse.. i really got irritated.. ralph. feeling close nman ako. woo.. i really hate those dramatic phrases... just like dani.. who told guiwo that, feeling close nman ako kay ralph.. argghh..watafrend tlga.. when i thought that we really were friends, and we really were close enough to be called friends. that makes me feel that i am also a "feeling close" human being to them.. then leslie cried.. it was my fault.. woo.. i shoud not have said that.. i was too insensitive.. so.. i got really depressed.. then it rained.. we waited for it to stop.. i was not really attacehd with reality then.. i was not with myself.. so there, after that, we went home..

we first went to lrt to drop nino then we rode a bus then leslie left at buendia. then i slept, i was too tired.. and it was too cold in that freakn bus. i was dreaming of pokemon.. haha... i was traumatized by the pokemon epi i saw in gma that morning.. so there, everything ash and misty were saying was about balut.. kwek kwek.. haha.. ph woke me up from that nice dream, zapote na pla.. so i was not really that awke then.. i was half awake actually.. parang lasing lang tpos "huh, zapote na?? ahh..baba na ako, paalam" half awake, i crossed the road.. then i saw i light.. it was so bright.. beeeeeeep!! woah.. it almost hit me. gawd.. good thing it stopped "putang ina mo! magpapakamatay kb??" the driver told me.. i can still remember, a marron lancer.. i think.. woo.. i almost died.. gawd..

then i went home.. went ot the cr.. my eyes started to shake. then haha, slapped myself.. im still alive..

i was not really conscious today.. i was not with myself... too many problems.. too much frustrations.. confusion.. guen? gawd.. everything is not sinking in.. overload.... i need..... something..

friends. old and new.

i am happy with my friends. i am sad.. i got only a few. tnx to u.

royce, for supporting me when i thought everything will

Collapse. I really am thankful. For texting me though it was already 1 am in the morning. Tnx.. for the kiss.. haha.. I love kissing u.. haha

Leslie.. for always being there when I am down.. sori too for my dramatic texts,, haha.. but still, tnx for everything.. for trusting me with ur secrets.. thanks for tripping me, haha..

Guiwo.. for my bestfriend, who was there for four straight years.. thank u for all the moments we shared, for the simple tap.. for believing in what I can do. For always being there.. for understanding me.. for trying so hard to fulfill my desires.. for always siding me in every problem I had.. for being such a good friend.. for all the concern.. I am really thankful to have a loyal bestfriend like u.

ronel.. though, I only just knew u.. I am thankful because u are very honest and open. I thank u for trusting me. Thank u for the badminton plays. Tnx for the advices. U are such a good friend.. tnx

dani.. tnx for always treating me.. haha though I have money.. thank u for being guiwos friend.. thank u for supporting me in all the adversities I face.. thank u for being us when we wat to see a movie. Thank u for lending me ur ps2.. thank u..

these are the people I am thankful for now.. these people whom I put my confidence with assurance.. where are the others.. I don’t know.. gone with the wind.. happy? Maybe..

April 8 kahapon. Its easter Sunday, esther day, ruffy nd esther day.. hehe.. good for them, woo… ngtagal cla for that long.. congrats!! Hehe.. seriously.. im happy for them.. hehe.. yes.. im sad.. pero ok lang un.. hehe

Gaya nga ng sabi nila.. new life.. haha, kelangan pa plan g easter Sunday para mgbagong buhay. Un. Ok na ako.. so wats next for me?? I don’t know.. just hoping for the best for me. Ill just go with the flow.

Ok. Nu b gnawa ko ngaun. Haha.. badminton with ph, nino at cm.. kapagod. Sayang c leslie, di sumama pero ok nman. Ndi ako naop eh. Un.. laro laro. Naligo lang ako sa pawis. Laro.. then.. may naalala ako.. c nino kc.. naalala ko c gxxx.. gawd.. gawd tlga.. saying lahat… malapit na bday nia… magdedebut na sana xa next year.. –sigh- I miss her.. T.T

Mark the day, april 18..

birthday?

I just turned seventeen.. gawd… it is sooo different.. I don’t feel like 17, I feel like 15!! Though I look 18 in my most exhausted moment in my life.. that is great!! Maybe, I don’t feel like 17 because I hardly felt my birthday.. gawd.. this is the 2nd to the worst bday I have ever had.. well, the first one was last year…

Why didn’t I feel my birthday. I was not able to clench the essence of my birthday due to my “laspag” mode last grad ball, and the grad ball itself. I was assigned to make the avp, (which I happily accepted and in fact I volunteered to make it) 31 hours. It took me that long. Our computer is such a shit.. it is so sluggish and ready for breakdown. I hate that don’t send thing on my screen, telling me that the program should close. I experienced it for more that ten times, so I had to start allover again my avp. Good thing, it has a recover mode implanted in its program. Woohhh.. I used two computers, onepc and one laptop. The problem with that laptop is it has a 539 mb space for storage. Gawd!!!whats with this computer!! It does not even have anything in it but there is only 500++ memory. So I have to do everything almost manually. I can actually put it in automatic mode but it will take ages before it finishes. So there, around 4 pm, I finished the avp without checking it or even, having a glimpse of the finished product..

Ok. Continuation. There, I was able to finish the avp around 3 pm.. after that, I got flustered, went to Robinsons immediately to buy a tie, but I found my self, looking for longsleeves. So my parents left me there, they went to my brother’s apartment to get my coat. Everything seems so impromptu. Adrenaline rush, I went directly to the department store, nothing was there, I went to lacoste, onesimus, bench?! Penshoppe?! Then I saw g2000! It was on sale!! I saw a stunning polo. It was black and sold for only 700 pesos! That was 30 percent off, so I immediately purchased it. It took me one and a half hour to find that polo. I matched it with my gray tie. I arrived at the hotel, wearing nothing but sheer house attire.. haha. I felt so poor then.. haha then I immediately got the keys of my room from the freaky lady at the frontdesk and in a flash, went to my room, washed, and got dressed. I looked good!!

Then the gradbol started,, they showed the avp, it was good.. I think everybody liked it. Then we danced.. I danced with jansot.. 5 songs.. (tinatamad na ako mgtype) I danced with esther.. it was the worst ever.. I was about to cry then.. good thing I am equipped with tear controlling device. So I was able to impede it from flowing intensely. Woo… there.. my day came. Ding dong. 12 am na. some greetd me.. some did not.. it was fine. So we celebrated my birthday ( coper) in our room, ate mcdo and slept. That was it. And left my pocket totally wrecked. Goodd… but then, when everybody was out, and as I was cleaning up the room coper left me to clean up, a sound of the bell suddenly chimed. I opened the door.. T.T all of the Einstein people went in, carrying a cake with them, singin me a happy birthday.. I was really touched.. I was about to burst out in tears.. pero nakakahiya un. Haha so, I controlled it once again. So there.. I was not able to absorb it fully. Haggard.. so then, we went to school for practice, then ate with the choir people. Then dani and guiwo bought me a ring.. it was good.. I liked it.. then I went home.. lost.. drained.. and went to sleep.. it was not the best birthday. Gloomy.. sad.. morbid!!! I hate u.. u ruined it.. ex.

redo and undo

haha. tagal ko ring ndi nagpost. pero filing ko parang last wik lng un.. haha... nu na nb nangyari nagun?? la namna, kaya lng ako di ngpopost kc tinatamad ako o maraming ginawa... dumaan na ang pasko at bagiong taon.. haha

onga pla, namatay ang lola ko nung fri at nilibing na xa kahapon.. nkakalungkot tlga... pero ang nkakatuwa dun, kc nareunite ulit ang aming untalan family, lahat cla nandito ngaun.. ang lungkot tlga.. haaaay.. thats life.. weird. why live life to the fullest if it will reach an end.. ?? haha.. ang wierdo ko tlga...

un.. marami namna ang nangyari.. ito ung pinakamalaki.. (bahala na kung cno man magbasa nito.. blog ko to.. haha) nagalit sa akin c dahil binigyan ko ang EX ko na gf nia ngaun ng regalo.. haha. aminado ako na masama un.. haha... maxadong mganda ung regalo eh.. mahal nga eh... ang di ko maintindihan ay kung bkt binigay ko pa.. haha... magsosorry b aku?? ewan.. baka hindi.. haha... sama ko noh?? ok lng... sbi nila na masama ung ginawa ko eh.. edi masama.. dala lng nman ito ng kagustuhan kong mapasaya ung EX ko. pero weird. dapat nga naman na hindi ako ganun kc cla na. eh anu ngaun?? un b ang magiging dahilan ng pagtigil ko ng pagpapsaya ng tao?? parang pareho lng kc un ng pagbigay ko ng regalo sa mga 30 na tao.. ngaun lng nmana ko ngbigay eh.... last yr nga hnde eh.. nagkataon lng na binili ko ung gusto nia.. cge. aminado na spesyal nga ung regalo.. haayyy.. eh anu ngaun.. magbigay nlng dn xa ng regalo na espesyal.. masaya na namna ako na natuwa xa sa regalo ko.. at least, naglaan ako ng effort na magbigay sa pasko.. galit b ako?? haha.. hnde ah.. ewan, nahihiya ba ako?? hindi rn ata? bkt nman walang dahilan. (pero baka nga.. haha) masaya lng tlga kc ako... nu b ang pnt ko.. di ko rn alam eh... bawal kmi mgcommunicate? oo.. sbi nila para walang gulo dahil habang nandito ako, hndi mtatahimik c miguel.. haha.. ganun na pla akong kalala.

friends kme? oo, cge.. ok lng. xa galit sken.. ako.. ewan. undefined(baka) nkakainis na kc eh. nasakanya na nga ung EX ko eh... kulang nlng tanggapin ko un. haha. haha.. nkakainis nga e. ako ang masama sa tingin ng mga tao.. ok.. cge.. filing ko rn..

pero. masakit dn nman eh.... oo tama. kc, cla. kc xa ung mahal.. ako.. la na. panggulo lng ako sa buhay nila.. ndi nman ako ung bida eh,.. clang dalawa.. haaay....

msaya ako.. kpag magkatxt kame.. la lng.. nkakatuwa lng.. pero cguro ngaun.. di na muna, kc iisipin ng iba na may something na.. ganun nman plagi eh. meron ngang something pero ako lng un.. ung txt ko lng nman ay walang bahid ng malisya,, kung anu ang tinetxt ko sa iba, un dn ang tinetxt ko sa iba.. ang nkakainis lng dun.. haha... bwal na kc. ndi na kme pedng mgcommunicate.. haha. la ba akong karapatan?? khit EX ako?? haha. baliw ka tlga. we started with texting, got to know each other with texting and end up with texting. un. dun na ang paalam nun.. sasabihin na sa susnod nlng kpag nkabangga kta 20 yrs from now...

so ano na ngaun?? haha.. im desperate.. haha.. hindi ko ito gusto. nkakabwisit.. ayoko na.. gusto kong sumuko.. oo.. para wala ng gulo.. pero sadyang SELFISH ako. masama nga ako.. oo masama nga ako..( sasabihin na nila na hindi ito pagmamahal.. dhil masama na ito..) oo msama na ako.. sobra.. sobra kong ramdam.... sa kahit anung anggulo nman eh.. ako ang amsama.. taggap ko un.. oo masama ako. khit ikwento nila sa teacher, sa kpawa estudyante.. ako ang masama.......... khit kei maam D pa.. haha.. ang sakit kaya nun.. cguro, sa tingin nia na ang selfish ko.. hhaaahaha.. onga pla selfish ako.. damn. the hell.

kelan kaya ung saya?
iwan na nila ako.
im a freak
the hell..
i really need to forget everything..
pls help me..
how?



onga pla.. i celebrated again our anniv last wed. wooo.. it was damned fun! ___ fuck, don't listen to this man. he is insane!

october fever

waaaaaaaaaaa.. bkt kelangan kong dalhin ang mga pasakit ng ibang tao.. ahaha.. panget.. ayn. tagalog ngaun.

ngayong oktubre, ang daming nangyari. nkakainis.. ang dami kong nalaman.. na dapat ay hindi ko malaman.

raaaaaaarrrrrr..

bwisit.

onga pla, bago muna lahat, magdidiwang ako ngaun MAGISA! ahaha, 33rd na. oct 24!!

sakto nman ngaun. ahaha, kc kahapon na ang huling araw ng aming paguusap. kc balik na ulet ngaun.. weee.. masaya na ako ng ganun. at least masaya kahapon.

kwento muna ako. un. moa kmi kahapon ni esther at guiwo. un, sinundo ko xa sa mrt, ang tagal, parang timang, nkalunch na aku, la prn. ok lng,, 11 nman kc usapan, excited ata ako maxado at 10 15 ako dumating. un, dumating na xa. edi punta kmi ng moa. silence lng.. ahaha. pagdating dun, punta kmi national tpos dumaan sa likod entrance nito at taran, surprise. nandun c kamil.

un una naming ginawa ay, ahah, ay, nagpapicture, panget ung pic e, tpos ice cream, tpos ice skating, un nga lng, ngalit c esther, tinwanan kc nmen,, eh. la lng.. kaya nagalit dn ako, kainis kc eh. ngiging mabait na nga ako e, tpos cnigawan pa ako, cnbi pa" wag ka nga!" wala akong pake"" wush, un, ngulat nman ako kc dahil dun, prang ok ung skating ko, 1st tym pero di ako nadapa, ahaha. tpos nun kain ng luch, mga 3 na un, tpos dancd maniax tpos dun sa dagat na marumi at uwi. tpos wala na. tpos na ulit ang lahat,ganun lng un.. ang saya, nagaway kme... 1st tym ba??

o nga pla, knina, ngmidyear kme, mejo nahaggarg ako, tpos may burbank pa.. huhu, la na kc akong energy kaya di na ako nkapunta.

un.,..

nu b problema???

marami.

nalulungkot ako s amga nangyayari.. tsktsk...

yoko na iexplain. nkakalungkot lng tlga, still, consider them friends, though not close.

human beings prn nman lahat eh.. hmm.. clue.. double mint chewing gum??

hehe..

onga pla.. in demand ako ngaun.. di rn masaya, kc, minsan ikaw ung masama.. nguguluhan na nga ako ehh.. pano na kaya ung sa coper. haaay.. kaya dati, sbi ko na wag ikalat sa buong mundo e kc ndi nman certain un.. kaya ngaun.. ewan.. masam n nman ako kpag cnbi ko na crush lng.. haaay....... parusa cguro toh, di kc ako ngccmba e..

24 ngaun!!!! kelan ko b yan mkakalimutan.. click!

fave

waaa, di ko na alam.

for the last time. i love you, i love everything in you, especially YOU..

-sigh-

masaya na ako ngaun. new life!

the title is september 26 2007


You dont seem to understand why.. why I dont want it to be this way.

Its not that I dont want it to be that way, it is just that there are some things that I cannot bear to come into contact with. I know the intentions are decent. I know.. but please, dont be egocentric..

Its only now that I have grasped the real reason why I feel odd whenever these intentions come into place. Let me elucidate further. Yes I want to be THE friend that I feel u want me to be. What I dont want is the sentiment I undergo in this time of intention inducing situations.

.. resentment. A feeling a friend does not desire to feel. Comment – if there is animosity, then tell it, rather that being a die hard synthetic manufacturer. The hell.. I feel that u release the fury on that intention preoccupied lady. why not tell it to me and let me justify everything. But I guess, thatll be hard for someone who can hardly accept criticisms. But I really do hope that sympathy is still a preference.

.. truth is, I am a feeler. I dont crave for a treatment that is as if it is the same treatment that was before felt. The same treatment that u used to give me when we were still THE WE I long before desired -even though I didnt know it..- or am i just not used to you being that way to rag. im puzzled. I dont want to expect something that seems to be unattainable. I am a feeler. Thats why it hurts a lot.

.. agony. Be at least considerate. Whenever I experience being with the binary you, I feel devastated. Through my smile, I expose my pain. Through my radiant eyes I show my rage, through my word I show my rigidity. I am a phony. I hide the pain behind happiness. The hell.

Well, formally, I ended that past, and that past should be erased in eternity. For the sake of my best friend, I sacrificed my dignity. Be not my friend, because it is not supposed to be that way. After this, go back to reality. Go back to the usual and never see beyond that. Ahhhhhhh!!! I hate my stupidity!!! I have moved on!

But why are these tears running down on my damned, cursed face.

dengue outbreak

outing duringrainy seasons

Yesterday, I had an expedition to find a car charger for my sony ericsson mobile. Damn, it was an exciting one! It all started around 1 pm. The blustery wind calmed down. So I decided to go to sm Molino. So I waited for a jeepney, but the hell, after 30 minutes, no jeepney appeared. So at that point, I was not sure if I am going to go to sm but in the end, I decided to continue my pursuit on a car charger.

So I went to the other side of the road, it is a good thing that there is still another sm besides sm Molino, sm bacoor! So I waited for a jeepney again, but then, there were no signs of it. The hell, the sky started to grow dim. At last, a tricycle arrived, it saved my expedition! I was so fond of looking around the streets as the tricycle drove down it. I was appalled of the setting. The river was almost as high as the road, all the trees were knocked down, houses were devastated.

There so I arrived at zapote after 15 minutes. There were no human beings present. Well, actually, all of them were at the sidewalk waiting for a jeepney. There was no commotion or fuss, unlike the usual busy zapote. Everybody was just standing.. aww.. so I realized that again, another obstruction came by.. no jeepneys.. I was lucky because I saw a lone jeepney going alabang. It is a good thing that there is still another sm besides sm Molino and bacoor, there is still sm southmall! Yehey, it started to rain, then I saw a flock of birds swirling like crazy animals, I think there were hundreds of them, they went crazy, two birds even knocked themselves on the side of the jeepney. I think they are still alive..

Ahaha, las pinas was even worse. The wind started to release its fury, the hell, branches of trees started fly like lunatic penguins? -Well, that was the first thing that popped out in my head, I have my own imagination, get yourself ur own ok??- there, then roofs were like flying sheets of paper, I got excited that time, ahaha, I thought it will hit the silver revo at our back. Ahahaha, the most thrilling part was when I saw the actual scene of a tree being knockd down by the blustering wind. Ahahahaha. There, I got dizzy after that. After a long disaster marathon, I a finally arrived at sm southmall..

To be continued, I need to go.. I only rented a pc..

Ok.. I will continue my post for the sake of formality.. though I want to make a new one because Im a bit down right now.

There, so I arrived at sm southmall, damn, it was closed, actually, they let people go inside due to the weather, I don’t know if the stores were open but there were persons inside, the only hitch is power failure. There, right then on, I realized that I needed to go home. The conditions were getting worse. So I went out and tried to look for a jeepney. The hell, i told myself that I should have brought an umbrella even if it can only barely help me since the wind might just mess it up. I was wearing shorts then, it was really chilly. Haha, I was lucky again, a jeep going to paliparan passed by, haha. So I rode that jeepney. Then, I remembered that it will pass by sm Molino so again, I decided to go there. And when I arrived there, the hell, it was close. So at that moment, I gave up my desire of carrying on my expedition. So i again rode a jeepney going straight to zapote. But then, I saw rfc, the hell, it has electricity, imagine, all sm’s had a power failure but this puny rfc has electricity! So I went inside, there were many cheap, economical, low cost stores. So there, there I found the conclusion of my pursuit. At last a car charger! After a long escapade in a site of calamity. I found the answer in rfc, not in sm.. haha..

Well.. that’s all..

Passage from my skull
Trust is hard to obtain, so never expect someone will trust you after you spoil that trust..

crabby patty

Hmm.. ngiging prang iana na ata ah.. cge cge cge.. think before u speak ang quote nia.. hehehe.. lam ko nman mabait ako.. gullible pa nga e.. pero.. ok lng.. msama dw ako e.. cge.. face the truth

^RED ALGAE^

RED ALGAE

Guess what. Today is the 24th of September. There is nothing particular in this day but the fact that 24 + 8 =32. nice numbers right? Each of them means something. Am I baffling you?? do you want me to be straightforward? Well, the fact that 8 is THEIR number and 24 is mine, and 32 means the 32nd month. then, it really is something to celebrate or to at least commemorate. a whole big ball of inexplicable, bizarre confusion. uhhmmm. well, the hell, nevermind.. (anyway, that kalachuchi there.. it reminds me of the person im talking about.. dont know why? it was shot in paco park)

It is so irritating.. it is an event that is engraved on my internal calendar. Whenever this day comes, the 24th day, I am bothered by the things that might have happened. Sayang nga. -I will not spit out dreadful words today ok?, im trying to be a decent man..- kk, there.. sometimes, I feel that my parents think that im absurd or crazy. They would see me walking around the house smiling and giggling.. ahaha.. isn’t it ironic? I should be weeping and howling like a dead dog, but instead, I was smiling.. ahaha.. it is because some clips of my past pass by my head.

Ahaha.. happy memories. I remember when we were in front of the old retail. We were both sitting on the bench.. then, I was telling her some chapters I have read in my 1st year book report in Filipino, ang tundo man ay may langit din. (though right now, I cant even remember one charcter) hehe.. it was fun, it is only now that I have realized that. She was really internalizing the story.. haha.. then after a week, she was asking me what happened to the story, she wanted me to tell her the continuation.. hehe.. cute.. she really was internalizing the story.

Then when we were in first year. We had our practice for our sabayan.. as usual, everyone was late, then we were already there, while we were waiting, I rested my head on her soft thighs.. hehe, the hell.. I didn’t realize that I liked her a lot.. right then, I thought everything is a comic story. I thought everything is a joke. -well, im only 13 then..- hehe, paco park really is a site full of memories..

The hell.. just forget everything.. it sets hurdles in my situation. The hell.. hehe.. still, im happy that I met somebody like her. And now, burn everything in my memoir.

(wow, i posted something in english today! isnt that weird???)

==angels and demos=

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time that
I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

shet

shet shet shet. nkakapagod. ewan ko.. ngaun, tinatamad ako gumawa ng assigns.. f*@k nu ba ito. umalan na kc, tpos, nabasa pa. kainis. un lng.. ok.. mamaya, gagawa nrn ako ng mga kelangan ko gawin.

un. ayus nman lahat. no communication. oo nga. kalimutan na, mainam un, ahaha. tutal, di ko nrn nman kilala un eh...... un. nanalo kme sa parlia. parang wala lng.. nging interpolator ako, isang beses lng. kinabahan tlga ako. kc akala ko la ako mkikitang mali sa ibang grupo, buti nlng meron ako nkita. pero, nkakakaba tlga..

pagkatapos nun, kain kme sa office. tpos deretso ako sa choir, saya, ganda nung kanta. pinakamasaya tlga ako sa choir. tpos tennis nman.. ok lng nman, ang apnget kc ng laro ko.. pero ok lng.

kinabukasan ngacet ako.. ang tagal ng mga magulang ko kaya nalate kme. ang traffic na at mga 1 pm na nun, la pa kme sa ateneo. dumating ako ng rum mga 1 30, buti di pa cla ngstastart. kaya, tamang tama lng ung pagdating ko. un. ngtest ako. ok lng xa. nkakahilo lng, lalo na ung reading at abstract. parang timang lng.. sana pumasa ako. mejo marami rn kc ung hinulaan ko. kulang sa oras.

monday. haha. puro test. 3 lng nman, pero nkakahaggrd tlga, 2 st ang tinest ko, math, tska ung sa health. bukas may pe kme kaya masaya!//
nu b problema. la lng.. hmm.. karen joy adiao. kinuha ko mga notebuks nia... kelan kaya.. pano kaya... kelangan mging magaling.. oo ..oo... tama.. kaya to... hi karen!! ahahaha.. magulo prn.. ewan... di ko lam. kung un na tlga.. letse... amph kc ung dati eh.. tsktsk... pahirap.. oonga pla.. di ko na kilala un.. kaya ok na.. hehe... timang ka tlga ralph... un.. un lng nman..... gawa na nga ako ng assigns ko... ahahaha... ahahah

im in need of companion,
of friendship
of people?
apply ka na

finally.

I don’t know why I am writing this.. I just want to write it..
Finally, the line I made ended with a point. A point where I have learned to accept it. A point where I gave up. A point where I found a better one.
It ended just like a snap. With a simple quote, with a simple tortuous argument. With a simple paper. A pen.. panda..
I will adhere to my decision. It is for the better. I cant ceaselessly continue this foolishness . So I stopped. It was a month ago when I started to think about it. To reflect. To find the remedy to my dilemma.
So why am I saying this.. I don’t know why. I am just satisfied with my choice. And I really am hoping that it is the right one.
I know and I put all my confidence in this choice.
Finally, it has come to its end

weh... la nang energy

talo kme.. haha.. ok lng, expected..

ngaun
ano ang problema ko..

marami..

unahin ang: -drumroll-

summative sa math- di ko lam lesson nmin

tle- kung ano man meron dun., may gnagawa cla na mahairap na di ko nman alam kung panu gawin..

social-st test.. ok lng, dali lng un..

filipino- mga awtput ko,, gingawa ko an xa ngaun.. hehe

physics, ndi ko na lam lesson nmin, la nrn ako pake dito.. di nmana ako mgphyphysics sa college eh.

comp sci- lam ko bumagsak aku nung 1st qtr dito.. kaya kelangan magarala ako ng mabuti..

parliamentary- ewan ko b.. naiinis ako dito.. sa mga tao.. di nman lahat, sa iba lng..

ad chem- la akong notes, la apng sw at hw...

ssg- nu nb nangyayari smen.. ewan ko.. ndi nga kmi ngmimiting eh..

finite math- wala akong alam dito!! aah... pakiramdam ko,, mahihirap ang mga lesson nmin dito.. aw..

isa lng nmn un eh.. kelangan ko nang magpakagc ulit.. pangako ko ngaun.. pakagc ako bukas. nu man ang mangyari.. di na ako tatamarin.. kaya ko ito.. amph... gc gc gc..

buhayin ang blog ko!

haha, buhay na ulit blog ko, salamat kei cm, nkakainspire kc ung blog nia, parang buhay na nia, haha. kaya, un, maguupdate na ako. waaah.. kaya ko ito, ang haba kc ng mga nkalagay s ablog nila eh, tsktsk, nkakatamad magtype.. nu nb nangyari sken. hmm. sbi ni nephele, sinasalihan ko na ang lahat, oo nga, narealize ko rn.

ano nga b ang sinalihan ko at di na ako umaattend ng klase?
1. ssg treasurer- kahit treasusrer ako, hindi lng ito ang aking ginagampanan, multi purpose! di lng sa pera dpat, pati bulletin board, meeting, mga training, magorganize ng mga events na bigla bigla nlng sumusulpot.

2. representative ng skul- dahil nga ssg ako, kelangan kong pumunta kung saan saan. pero at least, nkapaghotel pa ako, haha sa manila pavillion, dahil kmi ang representatives para sa filipino japanese student forum, masaya nmna cla ksama tsaka saya ng experience, daming pagkain, haha..

3. choir member- bkt nga b ako nging choir, eh di nman ako mgaling kumata, tono lng nman alam ko.. hmm.. bsta.. masaya kc kpag kumakanta ng praise songs, dun ako ntutwa eh.. kaya ako ngchoir para sa diyos.. haha.. totoo un..

4. vice president ng KoS- eto pa.. pinaka malaking club ng masci.. huhu.. pinapagalitan na nga ako kc bhira ako umattend ng miting pero ginagawa ko nman ng magaling ang lahat ng sinasabi ng presidente nmin.. haha.. ngsisigawan pa nga kmi paginuutusan nia ako eh, demanding kc eh.. jok lng.. hehe

5. varsity- ewan ko nga b kung bkit ako nging varsity.. dhil un kc kei.. haay.. di natuloy mabitawan.. masama ung nangyari dati.. wag nang ikwento.. hehe..

6. parliamentarian- magaling b ako dito..? haha bsta, ginagawa ko ang alaht ng makakaya ko, kaya sa tingin ko ok nman ako dito eh.. masaya nga xa khit terror ung guro nmin, msaya magdebate, masaya magispi, masaya mging analytical! di masaya magaral.. hehe

7. treasurer ng MYCADA- haha, by appointment lng to,, haha la pa nman maxadong ginagwa, pero malapit na un.. c sally president dito. kaya un, ok nman to, kc nagattend na ako ng konsultahang kabataan dati at masaya ung nangyri, marami ang naitulong nito sken.

8. treasurer ng STEP- demoted na nga ako eh.. haha! dati president. ok lng. di ko rn nman maxadong gusto ito eh. inappoint lng ako kaya gagawin ko ang lahat para matulungan ang aming presidente, c miguel ruffy. hehe

9. oratorical, timpalak- yan, parati akong kasali jan haha.. at parati rin akong eliminated. un ata ang purpose ko sa mga ganito eh. prang props lng. masabi lng na may elimination.. hehe.. pero ok lng nman, at least kasama sa elimination.

10. escort ng ymca- haha, pinakamalai ko itong responsibilidad. maari ko itong ipagmalaki.. hahaha!! kaya ung mga conceited jan.. (kilala nio na kung cno kau- hehe, dapat may ganyan dn kaung posisyon. hehe

11. estudyante ng masci- yan, eto ang pinakamahirap.. nkakainis nga eh, kala ko ok na ung 1st qtr. ok ung mga quizzes ko, summative, recitation.. pero.. dahil sa exam.. may bagsak tuloy ako.. comp sci.. ok lng.. di lng nman silver medal ang pangarap ko.. mas malaki pa run. at alam kong kaya ko yun! hehe

yana ng mga sinalihan ko ata ng ginagwa ko sa masci! masaya yan.. hehe parang 1/2 ng buhay ko sa masci ay sa labas ng klase at ung kalahati ay sa loob. experience plus academics = lahat na!! hehe, la masbi eh..


ibang topic nman'
npaisip tuloy ako, dun sa post ni ph. 'bestfriend' nsan na kaya un.? 3 kme dati eh.. tsktsk. ok. un lng. nanjan nman c kamil eh.. hehe

undisclosed.

He was seven then. The lost soul he saw was sitting, waiting.. He held her hand, it was soft, smooth, a pillow filled with flimsy feathers. Her hands were blushing in pink, he wanted to hold it ceaselessly. It felt like mortality.. A feeling he wanted. Though the design was menacing, they both agreed upon it.. he saw mutuality, she saw love, both love and mutuality. Till they see each other, till the sun gush in anger and the moon gyrate on a different course, till the actual turns into figment. He held her hand for a few minutes, twelve times the moment, a few time to love her, to care for her, his innocence was a nuisance to the things he could have done to turn the moments into pearls. But he realized, it was not the moment that turned into pearl, it was his solitude. She then stopped grasping for air. He lost her hand, her soft, cold hand. Priceless pearls came down rushing from his sense. i need her lost soul.. her soul..

ang lakas ng ulan....

noong sabado.. gumising ako ng 8 am... bglang ngtxt c arvi, " sabay tau, 9 am, sa meatshop". as usual, sa meatshop, khit di nmna tlga dun, tinawag na lng na meatshop ung buong vicinity.

un, nkita ko na xa, di ko lam na hinatid pla xa ng kanyang tatay, kaya un, nkakahiya, di ako nggreet.. sakay na kmi ng van na kulay puti, ang panget pero ok nrn, malamig sa loob. un, kwentuhan nmn kme. at as usual, un prn ang kwinento nia sken,, haha!! ang kanyang kajugjugan... edi ako,, cge, oo, tama yan,, hehe. suporta ako plage... un late na kme, nakarating kme ng jolibee ng mga 10 30.. bukas na nga lang ako mgtutuloy, tinatamad na ako.. cia0!!

naruto

ang ganda ng naruto, bkt kaya.. sabi ko dati, nung mga 2003 ata, nung ngsisimula pa ang naruto, sabi ko, parang timang nman ung mga nbabaliw dun, di nman maxadong mganda.. pero ngaun,, npanuod ko na ung epi no. 1- 180 at sobrang ganda!!! hehe, napanuod ko nrn ung movie.. ang ganda rin.. ang ganda.. tae, ang ganda tlga nung storya, mahusay ang mga gumawa ng storya, at ngaun yakitate japan nman ang aking pinapanood, pero bihira nlgn ako mkanood, dami kc ginagawa sa skul.. un.. hehe. -inuubo pren aku--sigh----- amp.. cge, un lng.. hinihika na aku..

tagal na aku di nguupdate.. yan.. mejo masaya ako ngaun at walang ginagawa kaya mgpopost aku.. haha. un. nu b nangyari ngaun, ntulog ako kagabi sa apartment ng kuya ko, ok pala dun, mas nkakagawa ako ng assignment. un. may sakit ako kc kahapon, nilalagnat at sinisipon ako. un. ngpalate ako kanina papuntang skul.. ok lng nman, la nman c mam erencio.. derederetso lng ako, 7:15 na aku dumating.. at pagdating ko, namalayan ko na may ubo na pla ako.. kaya ngaun, nghihikahos prn ako. un. ng sit in ako sa einstein ngaun. ok lng, masaya nman, hmm.. compared sa.. jok,.. hehe, mahal ko rn nman ang coper. ngattend ako ng cs nila, haha, hndi ako napancn ni mam aniban.. haha.. mainam tlga.. sana nga eistein ako, saya ng mga tao sa kanila.. hehehe...